12 Actual Things Every Man Wants In A Woman

what every man wants in a woman

To grow deeper in love, you really need to understand what every man wants in a woman.

From my perspective, there are a great number of things men are actually looking for in a relationship.

These things they’re likely not to tell you but trust me they form a major part of what makes a man adore a woman.

If you really don’t want to push your head against the wall and complain that all men are the same and your relationship isn’t working. Then you have to learn what exactly do guys look for in a woman they want to marry or date?

What a man wants in a woman he wants to marry or date might vary, depending on the man and his significant other. You will on this post be guided on the major/exact things every man wants in a woman.

Maybe you simply do not understand why men are attracted to some women than others, does it really mean that you’re not good enough for him if he’s seen admiring other celebrity women?

Understanding men seem a mystery to women just as women are to men, but what exactly does a man want from a woman? I have been asked such questions uncountably and every time I come online or read some magazines. I do come across articles from different relationship geeks trying to explain the actual things every man wants from a woman.

Funny enough, most of the things every man wants in a woman are those which most women sweep under the carpet without knowing how harmful it could turn out to be in the long run.

See Also:

The Exact Things Every Man Wants In A Woman

1. He wants you to be attractive

every man wants a woman that is attractive

No matter what could be said in praise of appearing the way you like especially when you have the “I already have him” mindset, the honest truth is that men are easily attracted to good looking women.

Looking attractive and being attracted to good looking women is a part of men’s lives and what every man wants in a woman physically. But this does not tell the whole picture.

To look attractive to your man doesn’t necessarily entail wearing flowers all the time and spending a lot of money to buy and wear sexy dresses. It virtually involves finding out the best attractive version of yourself and making everything interesting. To start with, nice smell, clean dress and a smiling face.

You’re already attractive, if you don’t know this earlier, now you really have found out I said so. Don’t let it be hidden, men want women to show them how attractive they’re, there’s no need trying to mimic the popular TV singers or gorgeous ladies you see on the magazines. They’re for marketing purposes and have undergone a lot of professional photo editing.

The magazine displays, does not, however, contradict the fact that they’re ladies who know how to be attractive without spending a lot of money, time and resources.

This is so because men have a preference, and it depends on what a man wants from a woman and what is the man’s definition of attractiveness.

If you actually want to be attractive to him, you simply have not to feel down about yourself. Don’t be surprised that the belly you’re trying to reduce might be the thing he finds most attractive in you.

Most women are ashamed of their appearances and would try undergoing a series of surgeries/implants to look more attractive to a man, forgetting that men only need a few little things to become attracted to them.

As earlier said, you don’t have to break the bank to look attractive to him, I did find out that what most men want from a woman includes the following, to consider you attractive:

It works like a charm to value your feelings, keep aside the magazines that make you think your shape irritates, eat good food that will help you be in shape and always remember to put on some sexy wears especially at night. If your wears always give him the WOW feelings, you’re probably making sure he’s so attracted to you.

There’s actually no better time to start looking attractive than now, I wouldn’t also say that this should be minimized or put to a stop after some months into the relationship. It should be in practice as long as the relationship lasts, be it a long term relationship, both partners should learn the art of appearing attractive.

2. He wants a woman that listens

every man wants a woman that listens to him

What guys want in a woman to create a great bond, is the ability to listen. This does not mean you should trade you being a good listener for not expressing yourself.

Every man wants a woman who he can be free with, they’re men, they’re humans just like you’re. They have a bunch of things bothering them, unfortunately, most men are not good at saying out loud what’s going wrong. But trust me, if he is free with you, he will share his problems with you in full.

When a man tells you what’s bothering him, it is not a sign that he’s weak or trying to shift responsibilities to you. But because you understand him, you listen to him and can help suggest what to do to sort out things.

By being a good woman who listens, his problems when shared are half-way or completely solved. He’s feeling relieved and can’t love you less, the bond will definitely become more concrete.

A wise woman will focus on creating a deep connection with her man, not until this is achieved, the relationship will have some secrets to keep. In most cases, before a man bond with you, he just wants to be sure you listen to him and what he cares about in life. Remember it’s a man you want and not some random boys.

This will by far draw him close to you, for he’s seeing the actualization of his real self around you.

He will be free to tell you his problems because of your good listening ears, from there you will be able to determine what he wants from you and what he truly doesn’t want in the relationship.

3. A woman with a common goal

men want women with common goal

It is not just a common stereotype that people who share common goals are great achievers.

The truth is that getting into a relationship with someone who has the same or similar ambitions with you, begets the longest lasting and passionate relationship.

I’m not trying to say that for you to have a long-lasting and passionate relationship that your goals and that of your significant other must be the same.

You both can pursue your separate goals, hence you’re supporting each other’s dream, then there’s an alignment in goals for the both of you.

It is difficult for some women to understand what a man’s future plans are, they practically believe in the now (THINGS THEY”RE SEEING) as many other things appear to be abstract to them. They tend to have issues believing that certain things will actually pay off at the end, not most women would want to wait.

That’s probably why most people would say, “don’t bother telling a woman about your work, plans for the future and goals as she may not understand it”.

As this might be some sort of truth, it does not tell the whole picture because a woman can help mould your thoughts and definitely lead you to success.

No matter how complex a man’s goals are, the honest truth is that he will appreciate any woman who understands and supports him to actualize his dreams.

Even if you don’t have goals that tally with his, there’s a need to just understand what his goals are all about and why it is necessary to make suggestions to him and render your supports as much as you can whenever it is needed.

Nothing trips a man like an ambitious woman who has her own goals and also supports his.

4. He wants a woman who is not totally dependent on him

every man wants a wpman who's independent

I keep mentioning this every time I try to address women about men and their love life.

What do you have for yourself as a woman, are you waiting for a man to do possibly everything for you? It is laughable.

I also understand that not all men would want you to be independent of the whole. They would expect you to come to them asking for something even when it’s obvious you can afford it. It sends a lovely message across to them, that you know they exist and you depend on them for certain things.

In as much as it is important for a woman who’s in a relationship to have goals for her self, being too independent might threaten your man.

He wants you to have your own goal set, nurse it to grow and then become supportive to him.

This is a major way to create balance in the relationship so it doesn’t slide. It is more standard when the relationship shares the responsibilities and this is actually what every man wants.

5. He wants a woman that fits in with him

men want women that are compatible

Up till now just as women are a mystery to men, so are men to women.

Most women are lost in finding what he wants, studying a man and knowing what he wants is very crucial.

He wants a woman that he’s compatible with, this is a pure indication that men want women that it feels easy to be with and does not cause any brain strain trying to stay with her now and thereafter.

When you’re easy to be with and your man confirms it, then you both are compatible. It is a nice match.

However, it is possible that people fall in love with someone who is not compatible with them, it is never the worst thing that happens in a relationship. As much as men want someone that is compatible with them, it is something crucial to discuss and be aware of things that make them incompatible partners.

To be bothered about being in a compatible relationship, should be determined on the following basis, is it a man you just want to have a good time with or is he someone you want to build a future with?

If you crave for a long life relationship that involves building the future together with him, then you would better start tolerating each other (be compatible).

6. He wants a woman who communicates easily

every man wants a woman who communicates easily

To so many people, communication is not their speciality. They need to be guided, men want the woman to be able to speak out. Not every man can afford what it takes to navigate through a woman’s feelings in order to interpret what she wants.

Men are logical, this doesn’t append them to knowing everything a woman wants from a man without speaking it to their hearing, he wants a woman who can clearly communicate him.

When you know your man, you will definitely have your way of communicating with him effectively to ensure he’s not left behind knowing what you needed to be done or what he’s expecting from you as his girlfriend or wife.

He wants to be communicated often, even when it is something you have discussed in the morning with him to get in the evening. Sending a text message to him or calling to remind him of it is much appreciated beyond your imaginations. Trust me this works for most men in a relationship, there are a variety of ways partners can communicate with each other and foster the connection between them. Do not be blunt about taking advantage of such mediums.

7. He wants a woman he can have elevated sex with

men wants great sex in a relationship

I’m not here to keep on sugar-coating words and leave you to be in a more complicated state fighting in your relationship without knowing the cause.

My sole intention here is to make sure you understand clearly what men want from a woman.

He wants a woman that can give him great sex, it is pertinent for you to note this very point – Every man wants great sex experience.

Just as squirrels get easily distracted with shiny things, so do men. But there’s a thin line between admiring and wanting, men are visual creatures.

Giving him enough sex in different interesting styles would create a great bond in him that will make him able to think straight when he’s out there. He probably will be surrounded with the feelings and thoughts that he would never try to trade what he has for anyone else no matter how beautiful those ladies out there appear to be.

Regardless of how we decide to paint it and what your religion has to contribute to this, the honest truth is that sex is important to men. Take this as one among the top things a guy really want from a girl/woman, that’s if you want to save your relationship with him or watch it fade off before your very eyes.

Understand how your man works and what’s his take on sex, what position drives him crazier and what he considers the best time for sex.

In as much as there are a variety of resources out there on how to improve your sex life, you should be selective by knowing what blends well with you and your partner – do not practice all you see or hear, find out what works best for you.

8. He wants a woman that respects and admires him

men want respect from women

Just as women deserve respect in relationships, so do men. A man wants a woman to take him for who he is, not what he does, how much money, and properties he has or his social stratification.

He wants to feel your recognition of him as the best or world-class, that you would want to give him the best boyfriend award or title him the best husband in the universe.

You will find out what keeps a man in most relationships today is respect, he wants to be respected and when you’re doing so, you definitely will receive twice the respect from him.

It is easy to get a man interested in you, but how then do you keep a man if you don’t have respect for him? Most men pull away from women who cannot accord them the respect they deserve in totality.

Emotionally healthy men, don’t want to see you appear like you’re bossy to them or control things they do.

He wants you to be the real definition of respect in the relationship and this is by far the only way you admires him and this will give him the energy for a deeper connection with you.

It is odd to take sex and beauty alone for what a man wants in a woman. That all he wants sex could be from common Tv stereotypes that men love sex. It does not tell the whole picture about what a man wants, it drives deep beyond that and most women don’t know.

9. He wants a woman void of dramas and manipulations

men don't want women that are drama queen

Don’t think that there are a number of men out there who are willing to take dramas in a relationship. I’m yet to see one.

If you’re a drama queen, it is pertinent for you to stop it and know that men don’t want the emotional drama kind of things.

In the long run, things don’t go well with men when they find out that the relationship houses a bunch of emotional outbursts.

He wants a woman who is analytical and capable of handly ups and downs of life in a relationship.

He’s a man who wants a pressure-free relationship for the long term. You should be willing to adjust to this, less he’s someone you just want to have a nice time with.

If you really want him in the long run, you should think more of yourself as a woman who passed the emotional drama test and has no dent of it rather than appearing like a little girl who’s mal-equipped on how to handle a man.

10. He wants a woman that is consistent

men want women that are consistent

Why most women fail in a relationship with men is that they do not actually know what they want.

Every man wants a woman that’s clear on what she wants. This is so because he would want to know what the relationship entails upfront.

If a woman is volatile and unpredictable, it leaves a man with the impression that he can’t really say for sure who she’s at a different point in time and this can actually make her wake up to not wanting him again in the relationship without any clear reasons or warning.

Get it clear here, men want a woman that it won’t be difficult for them to know how she will act towards them in different occasions.

As a woman, you won’t gain anything by being volatile in the relationship with him. It will be that he doesn’t know you, this scares men away from women they love. He wants to be sure you’re really who you said you’re. That’s why consistency is a key factor in what a man wants from a woman.

11. He wants a woman that loves her skin

men want women women that value their skin

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You necessarily don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself .

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Most people say that wearing nice makeups and expensive sexy wears attracts men the most.

That this holds some truth, does not mean that it completes the whole story on what attracts a man to a woman.

I’m sure that every man wants a woman who’s confident, comfortable and feels good in her own skin.

A woman who’s confident in her skin builds her own world while waiting for the right man to come into her life and then blends everything she has built over the years together without leaving them behind. This is perhaps what makes her the woman she’s.

You necessarily do not have to be rich and famous to be able to add meaning and purpose to your life and decide for yourself that you’re confident and comfortable with your skin.

What am I trying to say here? Men value women who are confident in their skin, I believe this is capable to make points to you as to why men will prefer women who love their own skin to women who are not confident with their skin.

12. He wants a woman who understands what he’s passionate about and Why?

men want women that are passionate

One of the qualities of a perfect woman for a man is understanding what he’s passionate about and why?

It is a good idea asking him about what he’s interested in. Remember this is a sure way to determine what guys who are normally shy care the most about in a relationship.

Men spend their whole lives searching for the woman who supports what they’re passionate about. It might be something you take to be little but trust me hence they’re passionate about it and you give them your support, they will always show appreciation and it is hard for a man to leave such a woman who’s interested in what he has passion for.

You’re actually the one to take him to a deep level when you find out using things he’s passionate about as a veritable tool for a deeper connection with him.


What men want in a woman

  • He wants you to be attractive
  • He wants a woman that listens
  • A woman with a common goal
  • He wants a woman who is not totally dependent on him
  • He wants a woman that fits in with him
  • He wants a woman who communicates easily
  • He wants a woman he can have elevated sex with
  • He wants a woman that respects and admires him
  • He wants a woman void of dramas and manipulations
  • He wants a woman that is consistent
  • He wants a woman that loves her skin
  • He wants a woman who understands what he’s passionate about and Why?


We have different men, with a different preference, but I’m very sure what your man wants from a woman is no way far from all I have said in this post. As I had left no stones unturned about what actually a man wants from you,

The most important thing is to make sure you’re having a nice and happy relationship with him, which I have just equipped with you with the world-class apparatus needed to attract a man, make him bond to you and enjoy all he has to offer in the relationship.

Are there other things you think a man wants from a woman, that you could share with us through comments? Do not hesitate to do so, and remember to share these helpful tips with every woman who wants to treat her man right.

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  1. I was all that and he still left. So what’s the point in all these? If you are unlucky in relationships you are are. And that is all….

    1. Dear Elena, we’re sorry to learn your experience, if you’re all as mentioned and he still left, there are possible reasons which includes that maybe you both were not destined to stay. It does not connote that these tips doesn’t keep a man that actually know what he wants in a woman. We did just hope you get over the heartbreak? Feel free to write to us again.

    2. Whilst all of this is absolutely true, I can’t help thinking that the main foundation of something productive is tolerance of one another and their differences. Differences are great due to opening your heart and world with one another, although, sometimes it can be combative…?

  2. I am sure this is true but It would do them well to remember that these 12 things must be reciprocated.
    -I am all about the attractive thing but don’t expect me to dress nice & put on mascara if he’s sitting there in a ripped tank top and gray sweats.
    -I am a great listener. I like to think that I am articulate enough to get a point across with minimal effort. That being said, I will never monopolize a discussion but when I have some input, I expect to be heard. I have been in situations where I am dismissed as the annoying girl voice in the room.
    -Goals are good. Whether they are common or not should not really matter. A person with no goals is a giant child that requires care and direction. We are all adults, I am not going to try to raise you again. I know your mother. she did her best. If you still have no drive to succeed, it’s on you. not her, not me.
    -no one should ever be totally dependent on anyone. Please refer back to my Goals are Good point.
    -Fitting in with a person? I assume you mean fit in with your life. That should be obvious. if I am a sheepherder from Turkey, I will probably not want to be in a relationship with a day-trader from NYC. Can you imagine planning a family vacation??
    -Communication is key in any relationship. Ease of communication depends on the listener as well as the speaker. If I give you time and respect to allow you to speak making a serious effort to understand you and you do the same for me, communication will not only be easy but may be the best part of our relationship.
    -elevated sex?? Like on an elevator? or like the latest ‘most popular’ on porn hub? Ok, we like to be adventurous as much as you do but you’re going to need to pay attention to the other 11 points before this one gets the attention you want it to.
    -I will surely respect and admire someone that is intelligent, loyal, respectful, clean and considerate. My God, give that boy a drive to reach life goals and throw out the gray sweats and we’re running for the elevator.
    -Relationships that are littered with drama and manipulations are not healthy relationships. They are Manipulationships generally involving Narcs. The first sign of intentional drama should be a red flag.
    -Consistent? i hope you dont want someone that never changes. No change means no growth which means no goals. This is kind of contradictory, right? I want you to be consistently attractive?? I want you to be consistently a good communicator? I want you to consistently reach your goals BUT BE Consistent. never change. Ummmm yeah, I don’t think that will work.
    – Someone that loves their skin I am assuming that means someone that loves herself? someone that likes to be naked? Someone comfortable with herself? Not really sure here but most women like their skin if they are healthy. love it??? Well, if we all loved our skin, Cover Girl would have gone out of business years ago.
    – Understanding someone else’s passion in life shouldn’t be that much of a challenge provided they are a good communicator, have attainable goals, respect you enough to include you in their endeavors…consistently. never leave you feeling left out or uninvited yet appreciating and respecting your feelings even when you don’t really want to go to another car show.
    Bottom line here… Be The Partner You Would Want. Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Accept that, and move on. Life is much too short not to be experienced to the fullest. sometimes it is with the same person for 50 years. More often, it is not. Don’t depend on anyone else’s light to shine, find your inner light. that will bring the right people to you.

    1. Haha, Sandi, I guess you and I both know why you read this article and started commenting on it. Com’on move on, to your next break up!

    2. Sandi,
      You made great points. Thanks!
      It sounded to me like this article was written by someone from India or another non-Western country – or else their writing skills are somewhat deficient.
      I am a women, but I’ve been married for almost 48 years and I understand my husband’s, and other men’s needs in a women far better that the person who wrote this article, as well as expressing myself far better.
      I have a great deal in my Content on about love, marriage and relationships in case you are interested.

  3. I agree with all these points. HOWEVER, all this assumes a relatively sane male who has figured himself out!
    Far too many men [and, I suspect, many women] are “foot shooters”. They just cannot handle success and will sabotage any decent relationship. No matter how accommodating and wonderful a partner they have… they kill the relationship.
    I spent much of my younger life wondering about all this man/woman relationship enigma, and I finally, when much older, wrote a poem about what IMHO love was:

    New relationships
    are a conundrum for me.
    Is this really love?

    How to measure love?
    How does it really play out?
    My mind overloads.

    Does lust equal love?
    Love equals fluid exchange!
    That’s not even close.

    I’m truly a nerd;
    I’ll develop a theorem…
    Love’s mathematics.

    Garry’s Love Theorem:
    “Love’s The Union of Two Souls”
    Nah… that’s too banal.

    Calculating love
    Just doesn’t work. I’ll rethink
    the precise meaning.

    I’ll narrow it down.
    Spiritual and physical…
    Full of emotion!

    That’s romantic love.
    Now I’ve focused the intent
    of this ode to love.

    Love manifests thus…
    One’s soul nurtures another

    I’ve also got a small infographic on my website about the characteristics of abusive women and abusive men.

  4. Educative and very interesting pieces in here,iam a young man from west AFRICA and i travelled through the back way to Europe and i left my wife two kids at home and i do support her in everything i thought she deserved to have with our lol daughters,but iam in a trouble because she is not supporting my goals all she is after is sent me money and party it by buying clothes and going out to people’s programs she was staying with my family our kids are 9 /6 years i bought her smartphone, which costs 5000 Gambian Dalasis , i do sent money for feeding, money for the kids needs like clothes, school uniforms, schoes, books bags etc etc. I sent special money amount of money which should be put aside for emergency, like if one of them is sick or wound that need to be taken to hospital, money for soap like laundry and for body,every event like Muslim events Christian events i will sent her money just to keep her away from not being admiring others. I do sometimes during school holidays sent her with the children for holidays in the city, i do also support her family too at times like during Ramadan, this year during the Ramadan we have problem( because i send her €100 which is about 5500 Gambian Dalasi and i asked her to go to the market let her buy rice, sugar, cooking oil etc, for her self with our kids and for her family too because for the side of my family i already covered their needs, the first thing she did was as soon as she received the money she send me txt that she has received the money then within a second she went offline and i trying her to get in touch with her i couldn’t reachd her , two days later she went in to a nearby shop and took a picture of some bags rice ,sugar and onions and she send me that pictures, i asked her why does it take so long to do what i asked her to do ? She said to that as soon as she send me the message her WhatsApp was expired first text , second text went i arrived home my credit was finished, i told her you were in the city were you do updates your phone everytime you your phone needs updates, secondly you said your credit was finished you are having money and you know that easier to get credit in the city than at the village. I told that there’s something wrong somewhere else let her tell me what happening ?? She went offline again i was working i couldn’t get access to go and buy credit for direct calls went i finished work i bought credit and called her daddy and asked him if he is at home, then he immediately to me that good he was thinking about calling me because her gave some money that she said it was from me but he already bought a bag of rice out of the money the balance he will add ontop of and get another bag of rice again that tells me direct that her daughter or my wife didn’t do what i asked her to do then i contacted her she passed the phone to her mum directly and her mum started praying for me after i asked her how did she spend the money she was mad with me and she cut communication between us, she will come online the time i used to be free or she off the totally i called my friends and her friends too and asked them to advise her nothing change it’s take me months without talking to my children, i was in a darkness, she used to stop the kids from using the phone to talk to me our 6years old daughter who is very smart girl she used to wait until when her mother is praying or in the kitchen then she will took the phone and unlocked it and send me voice messages until her mother noticed that because saw messages that were not send by her she find out that it our little daughter by the name Mariama (Cibo) if i listen to the voice she will say to me Daddy how are and is work we missed you Daddy, can you come home please ? Our first daughter who’s 9 got angry with her mother she doesn’t want use her mother’s phone anymore, so i try to talk my wife as one family but she doesn’t want to listen, then i limit the amount of money i used to sending her .i continue advising her, After sometimes she realised her mistake but she doesn’t want to apologise. I am really disappointed with her , because with all the sacrifices i am doing here am doing works i did a course of meditator and i do translate in commission, i work with an psicolog, lawyers like tribunals etc, during the day time and i work as a social worker with one cooperative which occupies immigrants specially under age boys below 18 went the day workers closed i come in as night worker with no pay because they gave me a house to sleep but i have to be checking on the boys who ever need help during the night time like if someone is sick or went out without coming back earlier or they have some problems within them , control the gas cooker, lights etc so am doing all this just gain something in order to shoot out my families needs but my wife is supportive to me because i always asked her if you have any thing to share with me good or bad just tell me we talk about it but she’s really discouraging me guys can someone give some piece of advice please.??

  5. Almost perfect tips. Very inspiring and worth heading to. Not hard to abide by and I’m sure these tips have been proven effective, helpful, and lovable. A man who can’t follow or have some thoughts about these tips, are not destined to love and be loved in return. It takes a lot to be a good, successful lover. Thank you.

  6. Behind every angry bitter woman is a man she tried so so hard to get but couldn’t. Blaming him of course.
    He realizes right away and as fast as possible runs to find a real gentle true love. Real in every single way.

    What a difference and a sigh of true relief he thought.
    Love always,
    The Truth.

  7. Men also like someone that can manage the little they have and can can give, and also a girl that is reasonable attract a man too

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